dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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