SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
