just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
