he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
