Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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