that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
