so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize