why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
