I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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