my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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