Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
