Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
