I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
