I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
