Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
