"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Bring me that man meat
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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