We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
