Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
