dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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