I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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