I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize