Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just want nice things and good sex
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
