he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
