By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The struggles of a small town man whore
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
