shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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