Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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