Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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