so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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