Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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