if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So squirting runs in the family.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
