So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
