Four minutes until I can fart!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
