He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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