You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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