You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
