oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
