oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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