So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
