is your mom at the bar?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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