just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
