Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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