"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize