I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I think my moral compass just broke
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
