I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
