It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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