apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
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Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I wear drunk well.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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