im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
