problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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