My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
