So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
