butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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