I'm gonna have a badass scar
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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