No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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