Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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