Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
